Happy Confident Movement

Despite efforts in some developing countries to make children feel good in order for them to do better, the majority of the world is still reproducing an antiquated system where children are made to feel wrong or bad in order to do better. The whole system is based on punishing children – whether it is through bad grades or punishment at home – in order to motivate them to do better. This makes children feel bad and even that they are ‘wrong’. When human beings are made to feel bad and ‘wrong’, they develop coping/defence mechanisms in order to survive and these mechanisms shape the rest of their lives. They end up living out of guilt and fear of being made to feel wrong again and will do everything in order not to feel this way again, thus often shutting off their feelings. When we focus on making children feel better by addressing their core needs, they flourish and do things out of deep inner motivation rather than out of fear.

To help children become the best possible version of themselves and not be stigmatised by their education, basic principles of psychology and particularly social psychology, ie. understanding of human behaviour in social situations, should be part of everyone’s learning. For both teachers and parents, it would allow them to better understand children’s needs and be able to address those needs without stigmatising children – as this unfortunately sometimes happens to help them thrive.

As knowledge is readily available thanks to the internet, soft skills and emotional intelligence have become much more important to succeed. Research shows that emotional intelligence determines 75% of success, compared to only 25% for IQ.

Life skills such as self-awareness, better regulating feelings, and developing a growth mindset, resilience, perseverance and empathy, are key to allowing children (and their educators!) to become better human beings and ensure the new generation contributes to making this world a better place. This would have a significant societal impact.

The current education curriculum is in strong need of modernisation. It needs adapting to include the social emotional learning and like skills described above and also needs important modifications at the core as children are taught information that they hardly use in their daily lives. Schools should focus a lot more on teaching children ‘how to learn better’ and more effectively rather than just memorise information that children won’t be using during their lives. So for example, even though we certainly want to develop children’s memory, most of the exams should be ‘open book’ and focus on the thought process and writing and thinking skills rather than pure memorisation.
Another key example is the history curriculum, which – because it is taught chronologically – teaches children that the current world was shaped by a series of war, all led by men, and hence reproducing the current patriarchal stereotypes that we want to get rid of. The curriculum also teaches children that millions of people had to die in the process, and they are taught this at an age where they cannot even comprehend this and makes death by war almost ‘normal’ (even if teachers can explain that these were horrible times!).

Creativity is often associated with art and some children are told that they are not creative from a young age. This has to change, as creativity has to be fostered across the education system to inspire open mindedness and curiosity, and help children think ‘outside of the box’.

Children’s happiness and confidence starts at home, and many parents are sometimes oblivious of the impact of their behaviour on their children. We all have to pass a driving test to drive a car but we don’t get the basic psychology necessary to educate our children. It is time to change this and ensure parents have the tools to help their children thrive.

Play is scientifically proven as one of the most important ways in which young children gain essential knowledge and skills. So more engaging and playful programmes need to be developed to help children better connect with and develop their emotional intelligence and mental wellbeing.